Do You Believe In Magic?

First off, I want to wish a Merry Christmas to all my readers and fans.

When we are little, Christmas is all about the anticipation of the “big day!” We all write letters to Santa Claus, we decorate the tree, make Christmas cookies and also make our parents a homemade gift.

As we get older we tend to move away from these traditions and sometimes that special magic of the season fades. It’s so easy to get consumed by the commercial side of the season, which can take away some of the joy and magic. Not only that, but as an adult we also get stressed at this time of year. We have to deal with our adult lives, (work, paying bills, taking care of our family, etc) and also getting ready for the holiday. This is when we just try and “get through” another holiday.

Why do some adults lose that love, that magic of Christmas?

As I explained this to some folks this past week. Christmas isn’t just about finding out that Santa isn’t the one who buys you those gifts your find under the tree. The truth is that I still believe in Santa. I believe in the magic of the holiday, that miracles can happen, that the unexpected can take place, and that happiness surrounds us if we just take the time to look and feel it. Santa doesn’t necessarily have to be a person. Santa can be a feeling. He’s the hope we hold in our hearts that good things are possible if we only believe.

The magic of the season is all about giving of yourself to make someone else’s life a little better, a little happier, and a little sweeter. See, Christmas in itself is real magic. It’s not the magic of wizards and wands you read in books. The Christmas spirit is ageless, timeless and giving. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. It is meant to bring a message of peace and hope in times when we think that peace is never a possibility. Christ was born with a pure heart and humbled himself by lying in a manger. Poor or rich it doesn’t matter, what matters is what comes from within.

Christmas is so much more than getting presents. It is truly the holiday of giving and love. The greatest gifts are not those wrapped under the tree or dressed in colorful bows. They are those given with an open heart, one wrapped in the ribbons of faith, hope, and love.


7 Ways To Score A Date For Christmas (without using online dating!)

According to data analyzed from social media posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups. So, if you are on the rebound or looking for love this Christmas, waiting under the mistletoe isn’t going to help.

Here are The Seven Ways to Score Dates at Christmas:

1) Holiday Parties are happening from tonight all the way through the end of the year. Remember, there is definitely a balance when it comes to being flirty. If you are too flirty you can come across as easy or sleazy and nobody wants that.

2) When you decide you are serious about finding someone to share your life with be serious about looking your best. Looking good makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you carry yourself with a positive glow

3) It’s no secret that if you keep going to the same places you won’t meet anyone different.

During the Christmas period there are a lot of people out and about. This time of year, I would say you have a good chance of meeting people you never would have met because there are more people out and about for work Christmas parties and end of year drinks at many bars, restaurants, malls, gaming facilities ( Like bowling alleys, go-carts places, arcades like Dave and Busters, etc)

4) Watch your alcohol intake at this time of the year. We’re all partial to one too many mulled wines over the Christmas period, but if you’re looking to find someone special before you have to kiss at midnight, it’s important to stay in control and confident. No one is attracted to a slurring mess.

5) Be open to new people. Don’t worry about age, race, size, money, and all that stuff that SHOULD NOT matter. It’s such an important thing when looking for love because the best partners are the ones you wouldn’t have normally chosen, which is why you might still be single.  In other words, keep an open mind.

6) With that said though, DON’T flock over to online dating sites just out of pure desperation! Instead of finding love, you will indeed find a nightmare in the making!

7) There’s nothing worse than someone who uses the phrase “bah humbug” over the Christmas season or has a negative attitude about their life or life in general. Life is not going to be a beach every day, there are going to be ups and downs no matter what time of year it is. Go into finding love with a positive attitude on life and you will attract someone who is worth it.

Remember, if you are still single at Christmas, it’s OKAY. Besides, 2019, is right around the corner!

We all don’t need to be in a relationship at the holiday time, even though society may tell us as well as the holiday movies, that we need to be “in love” at this time.

It’s always better to be single then to be in a relationship that doesn’t suit us; holiday time or any time.

May the Christmas season fill your home with family and friends, your heart with love & your life with laughter.

Merry Christmas to all my readers.

An Open Letter To All Men Everywhere

Dear Men,


It seems that the guys who play in the NFL, once again proof just how dumb you guys can be when it comes to picking women.   But before I go ahead and rant on that, let me let every single guy, including every single athlete know something: Cameras are everywhere!  If you are going to make a decision that in the end, gets you into trouble either with the law, your job, your wife, your girlfriend, etc, just know that someone already has it on camera.  Technology has developed cell phones with awesome cameras. It also has developed awesome surveillance systems in hotels, malls, bars, clubs, stores, and just about everywhere, where you can go and be seen.

Now onto talking about women.  Stop letting your penis make your decisions when it comes to women. There’s such a thing as listening to your gut, or your intuition.  That’s why these dating apps are destroying people, because when you meet people via dating apps, you go by what they are saying about themselves and, most people lie in their dating profiles. Secondly, just because a woman “looks” hot doesn’t mean she has good intentions and a beautiful soul.  Stop judging women by their looks. It can be said to women who do the same thing when it comes to men, but women choose a man differently than a man, chooses a woman. Women are more prone to give a guy who isn’t “hot” a chance, because he has better features than just his looks. Whereas a man, goes straight for the hot chick just to impress his friends, or make people jealous, or because he thinks she will be his arm candy, and they will standout.

Thirdly, Keep your hands to yourself – pushing, kicking, slapping a woman is unacceptable. Now, women need to be called out on this as well, because it’s not right to go ahead and smack a man for ANY reason UNLESS he hit you first and it’s self-defense. In the movies you see women throwing shoes, purses, and even throwing water in a man’s face after she finds out he’s cheating or doing something that gets him into trouble. That’s also unacceptable.

No means no.  Let me repeat that for all the men out there: No means No.  If she doesn’t want to sleep with you, doesn’t want to hook up, doesn’t want to hook up with your friends, doesn’t want to do anything, no means no.  How ever the rest goes down, even if she calls you the worst name in the book, you stay the bigger person and WALK AWAY! Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.

This is for all the athletes: STOP getting involved with women you meet at clubs or parties. NOTHING good can come from it.  Also stop getting involved with groupies that hang out in the SAME hotel as you!  Trust me when I say that women who do this, do this for a reason- they know that you got fame, money, power, whatever else, and that is the ONLY reason they are there!  Again, she could be “hot” but don’t let your penis make that decision to have her go up to your hotel room.  Next thing you know, you fall asleep and she posted pictures of you together all over social media!  Also, if she gets pregnant, you are now going to be paying her child support for the next 18 years!

THINK before you act.

Go for a woman who doesn’t care what you do for a living and treats you like she would treat any guy she would meet. Go for a woman who supports your ups and your downs.

Sparks are great. But investigate. Be attracted to her mentally, emotionally not just physically.  Go for a woman who can be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t hold you back for one reason or another.  If she wants to change you in any way, and they she is not accepting you for who you are, that is a sign of a controlling person and she will never treat you properly.  Finally, pick a woman who can  bring out the best in you and who can maintain her own identity.   Those are the women who you should choose, and if you notice I never said anything about looks or sex.

Stop letting your penis make the decisions for you. Use your heart and your mind to help you pick the best partner for you- not just a one night stand or a “maybe” girlfriend. But  a person who you see yourself with forever.



The Meaning Of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful. It’s a time to “give thanks” for all we have and for each other. Thanksgiving is also filled with traditions. Every family has a tradition. Some like to go to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Others like to have a family game of a flag football while others run Turkey Trots. I probably could name a few other traditions, but I would like to talk about mine.

Growing up my family went to my grandmothers house in Yonkers. We did it every year until she passed away. We did go to Florida one year, to celebrate with my aunt and uncle, but that too was short-lived. We did try to get together with the ENTIRE family, but being that there are around forty of us, it was a little tight. Then we started having Thanksgiving at our house. My other grandmother and my great aunt came over to my house, as did my aunt from Florida. Sadly, my other grandmother and my aunt passed away years ago, but my great-aunt just turned 103! My family does play a football game in the morning and some of us did do the Turkey Trot for a few years, but the best part of my family now is that it is growing, so the Turkey Trot was happily voided, for now. We may go back to doing it in the future.

Each year I would donate food to the food cupboard for my church which takes care of over one hundred families during this time of year. But I never thought that was enough. Thanksgiving always meant to ‘give” for me. And that is when something awesome happened. I met this fun and amazing woman on Twitter, then we became Facebook friends. I actually have some really close friends that I met on Twitter and Facebook in the beginning stages of when social media started.

So, we had awesome conversations online and then, being that she is a Mets fan, I met her at the game, (even though I am a Yankees Fan.) It was great to meet in person and we then started to meet up in the City from time to time.

Then one week before Thanksgiving, she posted on Facebook that she had no where to go for Thanksgiving. I was so sad seeing that post, so I invited her and her brother to my house for Thanksgiving. Now, ten years later, the tradition is still in full effect, but of course we are growing at the table with her boyfriend and my nephew and niece. But it is always the best time!

So, in closing, Thanksgiving means more than just food, football and family. It means giving back. It means sharing your family with those who don’t necessarily have a place to go and making your home, their home. Thanksgiving Day isn’t about shopping for sales. (That’s what Black Friday is for!) Thanksgiving Day should give you hope in humanity. Thanksgiving Day should be about acknowledging our gratitude together. Thanksgiving is a good reminder that amidst of all the disasters and stresses in life, joy is easy to find. We should be able to realize what we can do and be more open to trying to serve. The way to go beyond being thankful is to have the commitment of giving.

Social Media And Athletes

You’re an athlete, I don’t have to tell you the importance of using common sense on social media.  There’s such a thing as having your tweet or post backfire and cause you a headache of issues.  There are countless reasons why a professional athlete might be interested in using social media – if they are the actual ones doing the posting and not leaving it up to their PR people, which I find is a mistake and then some.

Some of the reasons why they “think” they should use a platform are quite simple- attract media attention, build a brand or specific reputation, provide exposure for sponsors, or even to let fans get an inside glimpse of their lives.  But…. Are those actually good reasons for being on social media in the first place?

They miss the boat on what exactly social media can do for them besides gaining sponsorships with corporations.  First and foremost it is called “Social Media” not Anti-social media.  Most professional athletes fail to connect with actual people and just respond to other celebrities and athletes.  They could in turn learn a lot from just connecting online with fans that support them!  Just a little response like, “Thank you for your support- it means a lot…” and then add a teams hashtag would make that connection to the fan base even stronger.

The next reason to use social media as an athlete would be to inspire or motivate others. There is the 80/20 rule that most don’t follow and that is 80% of your content should be motivating, inspiring, fun, educating and engaging and 20% sell.  This goes for EVERY business using social media, not just athletes.  Most athletes miss the opportunity to use social media to tell their own story- where they grew up, how they got to where they are, etc. On social media an athlete can tell a real-life story with ups and downs, comebacks, setbacks, tests and triumphs. It’s not all glamorous. 

Here’s what I rarely see athletes do: They don’t Show themselves in action both on and off the field of play: While it’s important to show how they compete,  they decide to post pictures of waiting at airports, training in the gym, getting on a bus, etc.  They don’t  Let Their personality shine: Many athletes are so scared of social media controversy that they edit their accounts down to the point that they feel inauthentic; fake people, not keeping it real. Remember, personality can’t be photoshopped. The most popular social media accounts feel authentic. There’s no robot posting for them, hence why I can’t stand it when athletes and celebrities let their PR department, who knows squat about social media, post for them.  They don’t hire the correct people to bring out the realness of the person, so it feels as if a robot is If else you may lose your followers in translation.

Finally, this tip goes for all who use social media: Use correct spelling and grammar. I know, I have heard from many folks on this topic and the usual response is, “It’s just social media!” That many be true but  using correct spelling and grammar goes a long way, especially in showing others that you are professional and that you care.  Also, when posting limit the times you use abbreviations,  or else you may lose your followers in translation. ( Especially when we all are reading it and go, “What the hell is he talking about?” )




25 Random Things About Me

So, I was thinking…. maybe it would be cool for readers to get to know who I am and not just “read” my blog posts.  Then it hit me…. how about a list of 25 Random Things About Me? Well… here it is in really no order.

  1. Coffee runs through my veins
  2. I enjoy crafting, sewing,and art projects
  3. Baking is a passion
  4. I still love reading an actual paperback
  5. I love my sports teams ( Jets, Rangers, Yankees, and Knicks- NY teams)
  6. Daisies are my favorite flower
  7. My favorite holidays are my birthday, Halloween and Christmas
  8. I started dancing at age 7, was a cheerleader, coached cheerleading and was a choreographer.
  9. My love for writing started in 5th grade
  10. I coached basketball including an AAU team
  11. I won the school spirit award in High School
  12. I hate scary movies
  13. I love all kinds of music but I am not too fond of heavy metal
  14. I was in my local newspaper twice- once when I was 3 and interviewed once when the Knicks fired their head coach
  15. I was also interviewed my the Wall Street Journal
  16. I feed the birds, squirrels, and chipmunks in my backyard every morning. If I don’t they knock on my door. ( Not kidding!)
  17. I still wish on the stars at night
  18. I believe in the magic of Christmas and miracles
  19. Never ask me for directions, you’ll get lost.
  20. I collect tea cups and elephant statues
  21. I was not made for winter
  22. The only insects I like are butterflies and lady bugs
  23. I love giving things and sending cards to people for particular no reason than to make them smile or inspire them
  24. I have written toddler programs for schools
  25. I started my social media career in 2008

Now, I was thinking… I’m tired of all the hate and politics on social media. How about we take social media back for the fun it should be about and the positivity?

Take the #Random25Challenge and post 25 Random things about you. Use the hashtag when posting.

PS: So, there ya go. Now you know a little bitty more about me. Who are you?


20 Signs That You’re In The Right Relationship

You Are In The Right Relationship If…

20) You spend time together doing things you both enjoy

19) You spend time apart doing things you each enjoy

18) When you fight, you fight with a purpose, not just to fight

17) You each have your own friends

16) You maintain your own identity

15) Your family and even your friends like seeing you as a couple

14) The respect you have for each other is mutual

13) You bring out the best in each other

12) You both share future goals

11) You are attracted to your partner mentally, emotionally and physically.

10) You keep each other’s secrets

9) You make a great team and people comment on that.

8) You are sexually compatible

7) You enjoy even doing boring tasks together

6) You both share the same financial goals

5) You both feel that you can be open about your feelings without being judged

4) You give each other the right amount of love and the right amount of space

3) You trust each other- you are always honest with each other

2)You are there for your partner’s successes but also their failures

1) You have accepted each other’s pasts and flaws

Always, always, always, go with your gut! Your intuition will never let you down when it comes to emotions and feelings. With the right partner, you will find fulfillment, peace, and love. A person who can be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t hold you back for one reason or another. Most unhealthy relationships include some form of sabotaging of one partner. If your partner wants to change you in any way, and they aren’t accepting you for who you are, that is a sign of a controlling person and they will never treat you properly. In other words, RUN! Another good sign that someone is right for you is if that person can fit in to other parts of your life and you’re not just living the “relationship bubble.” Your friends and family get along with this person, they have met this person and your relationship is NOT a secret! Secret romances NEVER turn out good- ever!

Finally, every good relationship has boundaries. Boundaries are important because it means someone isn’t a pushover, and they can communicate when they are unhappy. Growth is very important in relationships, particularly in the same direction, so you need to be able to have arguments, and conflicts and points of disagreements without wanting to kill each other.

*** The follow up to Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?, “Ax The Ex,” will be coming in 2019.***

Are You A Badass and Fearless Woman?

Fearless women do things people don’t expect them to do. Not only that, they set their own standards. Every woman has the opportunity to be badass and fearless at the same time. Here’s how:

1 Wake up feeling fearless:

You set your goals and finds ways of achieving them because the person they should take care of first and foremost, it the one they see in the mirror.

2 Beauty Sleep

There’s such a thing as getting your beauty sleep. 8 hours a night is what you need to wake up refreshed and ready to go. For some reason, women will spend money on beautifying their outer self but resist when it comes to the inner self.  Unless you are planning on being on the cover of Vogue – please invest on what matters most to your success.

3 Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

. The path to reaching further into your potential is getting out of the same old comfort zone you’ve been in. You cannot expect different results by being the same year after year – now that’s crazy! But go ahead and expect a little chaos in the midst of change. You can handle it.

4 Ready? Set? Go!
There’s no doubt that excising will make you feel and look even more  badass than you are while reading this! So get up off the couch and start exercising.

5 Cinderella Lives

For a woman, having a great pair of sexy high heels not only makes you look badass, but it changes how you feel. When you have your sexy pair you also walk with higher confidence.

6 March To Your Own Drum

March to your own drum. The one that beats to your rhythm. Refrain from following the crowd like sheep or doing everything exactly as someone else does to be successful.

7 Badass and Fearless Women Never Play the Victim Card- Ever!

It’s time to take off the superwoman cape. Stay away from victimhood and martyrdom. While most women are searching social media for acceptance, fearless women are out there living life to the fullest, not giving a rats ass about what others think or say.

8 Your Past is Just That- Your Past

Badass women get to be badass because they don’t dwell on their past, they use it to create their futures.

9 A Badass Woman Needs A Badass Man

Fearless and badass women like their partners to be present and accounted for; texting and using social media are great for quick communication, but she wants a man that shows up and is real. She doesn’t play games.

10 Fearless Women Have No Time To Care About Things They Shouldn’t

Fearless women don’t spend time worrying about how others are shaping up – they are too busy getting their lives in order. Celebrities?  who cares. Folks social media posts? She doesn’t have time for that. She’s got things to do and people to see.

11 Make a Statement

Fearless women are not afraid of saying what’s on their minds, they do it and they aren’t sorry for how they feel.  A badass woman will never ever let anyone treat her like she’s below them. She’s sexy, fearless, empowered and she knows it.

12 Surround Yourself With The Right People

When it comes to friendships or relationships, she isn’t going to surround herself with people who can’t appreciate her for WHO she is. She knows what she brings to the table, so if someone is treating her unfairly,  she knows when to move up and move on.

13 Want A Piece Of Me?

Fearless and sexy women never shy away from going after their dreams. They fight for what they want and believe in no matter what their haters say.  It’s taken years of building herself up in a world that is constantly trying to knock her down so she’s not going to stand for anyone that doesn’t respect her.

Why The #WhyIDidntReportIt Makes Women Look Weak

I hate to put the brakes on this #metoo movement but this isn’t a movement that is going to get actual results. Let’s take a look at the opposing side, shall we? First of all, all these women coming out, they’re not showing courage and strength; courage and strength would’ve been coming out at the moment it happened while they put their self respect and their self-worth ahead of their careers. Also, do they think that this is actually going to help them in the long run? No it’s not.

Have you ever heard of having an office romance? Well you can kill that now because all men in the office are going to be afraid of having any sort of romantic relationship with any woman in the office. Also imagine having a meeting with an executive if you are a woman. Now if you want have a meeting with an executive you’re not going to be alone with that that executive if he’s a man. He’s going to have a bunch of people in that office because he’s going to be deathly afraid that you were going to then come out 20 years later and say that he sexually harassed you.

When you’re drunk and he’s drunk guess what? it’s not a #metoo moment, it’s two people doing something stupid moment. It’s not being sexually harassed or sexually abused or actually assaulted because you know you’re drunk. No, it’s sorry you made a mistake. When you are drunk you don’t have all your facilities ( your brain) working. You can’t drive, can’t walk a straight line, and can’t remember crap. Do sober women get raped by drunk guys? Yes. But that’s not the story we are hearing now, is it?

So this week on Twitter someone started that trending topic of why I didn’t reported. Sorry I don’t believe you because all you’re looking for is attention, followers and people to join your pity party. You should’ve come out and report is it happen when it happens not when it all of a sudden convenient for you. That’s not how society works and is not how it should work. #WhyIDidn’tReport Sorry your pity party train is being derailed. Sure, I’m going to believe you as you tweeted it on Twitter. I guess I’ve had many, many #metoo moments then if I count all the guys who have DM’ed me their junk looking for quick hook-ups. Or the men who catcall me while jogging.

Here are responses from people on social media that keep being written time and time again during this #metoo movement with Cosby, Harvey Weinstein and the difference between them and Kavanaugh:

1- “I agree that if he is guilty he should pay for his crime, but what I don’t understand is why wait 30 or 40 years to report it? It makes know sense to me!”

2- “I really believe he didn’t do anything wrong I mean why would you wait 30 to 40 years to come forward? These ladies wanted attention… u waited 30-40 years to say something?? And u believe it?? What proof do they have?”

3- “Those women laid with him for a better career now that he is filthy rich they want cash in with rape after those many years!! Why wait sooo many yrs to then speak?”

While there was no physical evidence in the Cosby case(s), he did admit to giving Constand pills, which corroborated the stories of his other victims. Over the course of four days of questioning, Cosby admitted to acquiring Qualuudes, a powerful sedative, to give to women with whom he wanted to have sex.

If Kavanaugh admitted he went to the party but didn’t do anything or that it was consensual like Cosby admitted, then we can make the comparison. However, Kavanaugh has numerous character witnesses that attest to his good conduct and all of the accusers so far have not provided any details as to when/where/why/how. It came out of nowhere!

Here’s what Dr.Christine Blasey Ford said “My best estimate of how this COULD of happened.”

A victim who believes herself would say “DID” happen not could. And another quote, “I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t remember as much as I would like to.” Also, an observation: If that was me I wouldn’t be reading from a script. it would be coming from the heart. But she has her doctorate in psychology so she knows exactly how to play the role. And if she feels it’s her civic duty to come forward now, she would have told it before today, like when Kavanaugh went to law school.

Not all women are believing her. Take this woman’s statement: “As an actual victim I find her disgusting. How dare she use sexual assault for political reasons.

The difference between the #metoo movement and the #WhyIDidntReport hashtag is simple. Anybody can say anything on social media does that make it true and does it make it a fact? No it doesn’t. just because I can write on social media that I was abused 20 years ago doesn’t make it true! Everybody is becoming so naïve and believing everything that people are writing, when there’s no facts behind what people are saying, they’re just words they’re not actions that go along with it.

I can come up with my own. I was 15 and this guys that worked with one of my parents he took me in a closet and he actually assaulted me and he told me that if I said anything he was going to kill my family that’s why I didn’t report it. So would you believe that if I tweeted that? Would you believe that if I post that on Facebook? It’s just words it sounds horrible but does that make it true!

So are all women supposed to “stick together?” Not necessarily. Women are like any other people. They are not always angels. There are many women who will compete with you and not play according to the rules. This is not a perfect world. Behind every successful woman is another woman jealous of her success. As a female I hate how women are just being thrown into the conversation to show, “oh look, we’re progressing!” No, we’re not. It’s an insult to women to just throw them a bone and say, “Oh, we’re progressing, we believe in women and we believe women can have high powering jobs!”

Sure, I know women are smart and I know women can do a great job at being anything they want to be. But let the women earn it.

If that is the one lesson that we all can learn from #MeToo, then I hope most learn it. Remember, respect is earned, not a given.  You need to respect yourself first and foremost if you ever want someone else to reciprocate that respect.  I hope in 2019, the media makes a woman famous for expanding her mind, not her breasts, nor coming out 40 years later to tear down someone just for politics sake.

Double Standards In Dating

Double Standards.

When it comes to dating there are tons of them. I will cut through the proverbial crap, and just get down to the nitty gritty. Here are four double standards that are not so obvious:

1- When a relationship breaks up men are seen as jerks, women are seen as victims.

2- Men will cheat, women have control.

3- When a man asks a question, he is concerned about his woman. If a woman does, she’s considering to be nagging.

4- Women are always seen as victims when it comes to domestic disputes and men are always seen as the attackers.

The one double standard that is the obvious one is that older men can date younger women with no problem, whereas, older women who date younger men are seen as “rocking the cradle,” and are also called “Cougars.”

I did a study on Twitter recently and 84% of people surveyed said that a woman should be able to date a younger man. And a woman should be able to do so without having judgement passed.  We need to stop this double standard stuff when it comes to dating and just remember one thing: Dating is supposed to be fun, its supposed to lead people together so they can form relationships. And if that means a girl dates a younger guy, so be it. Who are we to judge women and their relationships?

Older women look more appealing to younger guys for a variety of reasons. There is the fact that older women will not play love games and know exactly what they want. Some of them may not want the family, and all that goes with the picket fence, but as a woman’s biological clock ticks even louder, that idea may change. Younger men often find older women more interesting, experimental, fun to talk to, financially settled, and more adept sexually. As one guy in his twenties told me, “I guess it could be nice to not hang around a ditz with no knowledge of life, music, or something like that.”

Age doesn’t always determine maturity. There are men in their twenties that can give any man in their forties a run for his money. Maturity has nothing to do with age but it is the actions & behaviors that you display during adverse situations that do.

A twenty-eight year old guy told me flat out what attracts him to older women: “The experiences in life they’ve had make them more grounded and realistic. I have a preference for women starting at about ten years older than myself and up. It’s adventurous for both of us, because it is a wild and new exciting journey. Younger women just don’t let me grow in the ways older women do.” He added, “You have 30, 40, and 50 year old women today who look like they are 25, and you can’t even tell the difference!”

So what does a woman have to do in order to date a younger man? Are the rules different? And what are advantages for a young guy to date an older woman?

In order to date a younger man, a woman must first attract a younger man into her life. How does that happen? The answer is simple. Be open to the possibility. You don’t have to change how you dress. You don’t have to scout the college bars. Just live your life, and watch what happens. Trust me on this one.

The younger person gets an experienced partner who is often better established in the world. The “senior partner” may also have more money, perhaps, even, a more interesting life. The older person, for her part, gets a higher-energy partner who is likely to help the couple stay fit, quite likely, more sexually active.

Younger men come from a different generation. Therefore, they perceive the world differently than their older counterparts. They grew up with working moms. They respect and admire powerful women. Whereas older men have been taught to see women as accessories to their lives, younger guys see women as equals. (Not all younger guys, but 95% of them) Since younger men accept female empowerment as the norm, that principle transfers into equal partnership. Chances are he’ll be more adventurous than you’re used to. He may challenge your ideals. He’s apt to push you to open your thinking to a new perspective.

What attracts a younger man to an older women, is the lack of games. So, if your default is to pullout the known “this-always-works trick,” forget it. He lacks the polish his older counterparts possess in countering your moves. You’ll be forced to be real. Honesty is the best communication policy here. And, that’s a very good thing. Who really has time to play games anyway? This is the part where older guys can learn a thing or two from the younger guys. No woman wants to play games and no woman has time to play games.

A older woman will also force him to grow up and act more mature. As the older woman you will open the door to a new vision of life for him. You will have experienced things that he may not have yet had the chance to or you may have great advice to offer him for decisions he will have to make. But be prepared because he may have a completely different world view. You will be forced to see things differently, and learn new things. But I find that is more positive than negative. By the way, we always hear that older men are better in bed. Personally, I think it’s just a rumor… started by older men. They may have been with more partners, but being with more partners doesn’t mean that you are “better” than your young counterparts. And younger guys may be more willing to try new things than to just go through the motions as older guys tend to do.