Social Media And Athletes

You’re an athlete, I don’t have to tell you the importance of using common sense on social media.  There’s such a thing as having your tweet or post backfire and cause you a headache of issues.  There are countless reasons why a professional athlete might be interested in using social media – if they are the actual ones doing the posting and not leaving it up to their PR people, which I find is a mistake and then some.

Some of the reasons why they “think” they should use a platform are quite simple- attract media attention, build a brand or specific reputation, provide exposure for sponsors, or even to let fans get an inside glimpse of their lives.  But…. Are those actually good reasons for being on social media in the first place?

They miss the boat on what exactly social media can do for them besides gaining sponsorships with corporations.  First and foremost it is called “Social Media” not Anti-social media.  Most professional athletes fail to connect with actual people and just respond to other celebrities and athletes.  They could in turn learn a lot from just connecting online with fans that support them!  Just a little response like, “Thank you for your support- it means a lot…” and then add a teams hashtag would make that connection to the fan base even stronger.

The next reason to use social media as an athlete would be to inspire or motivate others. There is the 80/20 rule that most don’t follow and that is 80% of your content should be motivating, inspiring, fun, educating and engaging and 20% sell.  This goes for EVERY business using social media, not just athletes.  Most athletes miss the opportunity to use social media to tell their own story- where they grew up, how they got to where they are, etc. On social media an athlete can tell a real-life story with ups and downs, comebacks, setbacks, tests and triumphs. It’s not all glamorous. 

Here’s what I rarely see athletes do: They don’t Show themselves in action both on and off the field of play: While it’s important to show how they compete,  they decide to post pictures of waiting at airports, training in the gym, getting on a bus, etc.  They don’t  Let Their personality shine: Many athletes are so scared of social media controversy that they edit their accounts down to the point that they feel inauthentic; fake people, not keeping it real. Remember, personality can’t be photoshopped. The most popular social media accounts feel authentic. There’s no robot posting for them, hence why I can’t stand it when athletes and celebrities let their PR department, who knows squat about social media, post for them.  They don’t hire the correct people to bring out the realness of the person, so it feels as if a robot is If else you may lose your followers in translation.

Finally, this tip goes for all who use social media: Use correct spelling and grammar. I know, I have heard from many folks on this topic and the usual response is, “It’s just social media!” That many be true but  using correct spelling and grammar goes a long way, especially in showing others that you are professional and that you care.  Also, when posting limit the times you use abbreviations,  or else you may lose your followers in translation. ( Especially when we all are reading it and go, “What the hell is he talking about?” )

 

 

 

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25 Random Things About Me

So, I was thinking…. maybe it would be cool for readers to get to know who I am and not just “read” my blog posts.  Then it hit me…. how about a list of 25 Random Things About Me? Well… here it is in really no order.

  1. Coffee runs through my veins
  2. I enjoy crafting, sewing,and art projects
  3. Baking is a passion
  4. I still love reading an actual paperback
  5. I love my sports teams ( Jets, Rangers, Yankees, and Knicks- NY teams)
  6. Daisies are my favorite flower
  7. My favorite holidays are my birthday, Halloween and Christmas
  8. I started dancing at age 7, was a cheerleader, coached cheerleading and was a choreographer.
  9. My love for writing started in 5th grade
  10. I coached basketball including an AAU team
  11. I won the school spirit award in High School
  12. I hate scary movies
  13. I love all kinds of music but I am not too fond of heavy metal
  14. I was in my local newspaper twice- once when I was 3 and interviewed once when the Knicks fired their head coach
  15. I was also interviewed my the Wall Street Journal
  16. I feed the birds, squirrels, and chipmunks in my backyard every morning. If I don’t they knock on my door. ( Not kidding!)
  17. I still wish on the stars at night
  18. I believe in the magic of Christmas and miracles
  19. Never ask me for directions, you’ll get lost.
  20. I collect tea cups and elephant statues
  21. I was not made for winter
  22. The only insects I like are butterflies and lady bugs
  23. I love giving things and sending cards to people for particular no reason than to make them smile or inspire them
  24. I have written toddler programs for schools
  25. I started my social media career in 2008

Now, I was thinking… I’m tired of all the hate and politics on social media. How about we take social media back for the fun it should be about and the positivity?

Take the #Random25Challenge and post 25 Random things about you. Use the hashtag when posting.

PS: So, there ya go. Now you know a little bitty more about me. Who are you?

 

20 Signs That You’re In The Right Relationship

You Are In The Right Relationship If…

20) You spend time together doing things you both enjoy

19) You spend time apart doing things you each enjoy

18) When you fight, you fight with a purpose, not just to fight

17) You each have your own friends

16) You maintain your own identity

15) Your family and even your friends like seeing you as a couple

14) The respect you have for each other is mutual

13) You bring out the best in each other

12) You both share future goals

11) You are attracted to your partner mentally, emotionally and physically.

10) You keep each other’s secrets

9) You make a great team and people comment on that.

8) You are sexually compatible

7) You enjoy even doing boring tasks together

6) You both share the same financial goals

5) You both feel that you can be open about your feelings without being judged

4) You give each other the right amount of love and the right amount of space

3) You trust each other- you are always honest with each other

2)You are there for your partner’s successes but also their failures

1) You have accepted each other’s pasts and flaws

Always, always, always, go with your gut! Your intuition will never let you down when it comes to emotions and feelings. With the right partner, you will find fulfillment, peace, and love. A person who can be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t hold you back for one reason or another. Most unhealthy relationships include some form of sabotaging of one partner. If your partner wants to change you in any way, and they aren’t accepting you for who you are, that is a sign of a controlling person and they will never treat you properly. In other words, RUN! Another good sign that someone is right for you is if that person can fit in to other parts of your life and you’re not just living the “relationship bubble.” Your friends and family get along with this person, they have met this person and your relationship is NOT a secret! Secret romances NEVER turn out good- ever!

Finally, every good relationship has boundaries. Boundaries are important because it means someone isn’t a pushover, and they can communicate when they are unhappy. Growth is very important in relationships, particularly in the same direction, so you need to be able to have arguments, and conflicts and points of disagreements without wanting to kill each other.

*** The follow up to Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?, “Ax The Ex,” will be coming in 2019.***

Are You A Badass and Fearless Woman?

Fearless women do things people don’t expect them to do. Not only that, they set their own standards. Every woman has the opportunity to be badass and fearless at the same time. Here’s how:

1 Wake up feeling fearless:

You set your goals and finds ways of achieving them because the person they should take care of first and foremost, it the one they see in the mirror.

2 Beauty Sleep

There’s such a thing as getting your beauty sleep. 8 hours a night is what you need to wake up refreshed and ready to go. For some reason, women will spend money on beautifying their outer self but resist when it comes to the inner self.  Unless you are planning on being on the cover of Vogue – please invest on what matters most to your success.

3 Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

. The path to reaching further into your potential is getting out of the same old comfort zone you’ve been in. You cannot expect different results by being the same year after year – now that’s crazy! But go ahead and expect a little chaos in the midst of change. You can handle it.

4 Ready? Set? Go!
There’s no doubt that excising will make you feel and look even more  badass than you are while reading this! So get up off the couch and start exercising.

5 Cinderella Lives

For a woman, having a great pair of sexy high heels not only makes you look badass, but it changes how you feel. When you have your sexy pair you also walk with higher confidence.

6 March To Your Own Drum

March to your own drum. The one that beats to your rhythm. Refrain from following the crowd like sheep or doing everything exactly as someone else does to be successful.

7 Badass and Fearless Women Never Play the Victim Card- Ever!

It’s time to take off the superwoman cape. Stay away from victimhood and martyrdom. While most women are searching social media for acceptance, fearless women are out there living life to the fullest, not giving a rats ass about what others think or say.

8 Your Past is Just That- Your Past

Badass women get to be badass because they don’t dwell on their past, they use it to create their futures.

9 A Badass Woman Needs A Badass Man

Fearless and badass women like their partners to be present and accounted for; texting and using social media are great for quick communication, but she wants a man that shows up and is real. She doesn’t play games.

10 Fearless Women Have No Time To Care About Things They Shouldn’t

Fearless women don’t spend time worrying about how others are shaping up – they are too busy getting their lives in order. Celebrities?  who cares. Folks social media posts? She doesn’t have time for that. She’s got things to do and people to see.

11 Make a Statement

Fearless women are not afraid of saying what’s on their minds, they do it and they aren’t sorry for how they feel.  A badass woman will never ever let anyone treat her like she’s below them. She’s sexy, fearless, empowered and she knows it.

12 Surround Yourself With The Right People

When it comes to friendships or relationships, she isn’t going to surround herself with people who can’t appreciate her for WHO she is. She knows what she brings to the table, so if someone is treating her unfairly,  she knows when to move up and move on.

13 Want A Piece Of Me?

Fearless and sexy women never shy away from going after their dreams. They fight for what they want and believe in no matter what their haters say.  It’s taken years of building herself up in a world that is constantly trying to knock her down so she’s not going to stand for anyone that doesn’t respect her.

Why The #WhyIDidntReportIt Makes Women Look Weak

I hate to put the brakes on this #metoo movement but this isn’t a movement that is going to get actual results. Let’s take a look at the opposing side, shall we? First of all, all these women coming out, they’re not showing courage and strength; courage and strength would’ve been coming out at the moment it happened while they put their self respect and their self-worth ahead of their careers. Also, do they think that this is actually going to help them in the long run? No it’s not.

Have you ever heard of having an office romance? Well you can kill that now because all men in the office are going to be afraid of having any sort of romantic relationship with any woman in the office. Also imagine having a meeting with an executive if you are a woman. Now if you want have a meeting with an executive you’re not going to be alone with that that executive if he’s a man. He’s going to have a bunch of people in that office because he’s going to be deathly afraid that you were going to then come out 20 years later and say that he sexually harassed you.

When you’re drunk and he’s drunk guess what? it’s not a #metoo moment, it’s two people doing something stupid moment. It’s not being sexually harassed or sexually abused or actually assaulted because you know you’re drunk. No, it’s sorry you made a mistake. When you are drunk you don’t have all your facilities ( your brain) working. You can’t drive, can’t walk a straight line, and can’t remember crap. Do sober women get raped by drunk guys? Yes. But that’s not the story we are hearing now, is it?

So this week on Twitter someone started that trending topic of why I didn’t reported. Sorry I don’t believe you because all you’re looking for is attention, followers and people to join your pity party. You should’ve come out and report is it happen when it happens not when it all of a sudden convenient for you. That’s not how society works and is not how it should work. #WhyIDidn’tReport Sorry your pity party train is being derailed. Sure, I’m going to believe you as you tweeted it on Twitter. I guess I’ve had many, many #metoo moments then if I count all the guys who have DM’ed me their junk looking for quick hook-ups. Or the men who catcall me while jogging.

Here are responses from people on social media that keep being written time and time again during this #metoo movement with Cosby, Harvey Weinstein and the difference between them and Kavanaugh:

1- “I agree that if he is guilty he should pay for his crime, but what I don’t understand is why wait 30 or 40 years to report it? It makes know sense to me!”

2- “I really believe he didn’t do anything wrong I mean why would you wait 30 to 40 years to come forward? These ladies wanted attention… u waited 30-40 years to say something?? And u believe it?? What proof do they have?”

3- “Those women laid with him for a better career now that he is filthy rich they want cash in with rape after those many years!! Why wait sooo many yrs to then speak?”

While there was no physical evidence in the Cosby case(s), he did admit to giving Constand pills, which corroborated the stories of his other victims. Over the course of four days of questioning, Cosby admitted to acquiring Qualuudes, a powerful sedative, to give to women with whom he wanted to have sex.

If Kavanaugh admitted he went to the party but didn’t do anything or that it was consensual like Cosby admitted, then we can make the comparison. However, Kavanaugh has numerous character witnesses that attest to his good conduct and all of the accusers so far have not provided any details as to when/where/why/how. It came out of nowhere!

Here’s what Dr.Christine Blasey Ford said “My best estimate of how this COULD of happened.”

A victim who believes herself would say “DID” happen not could. And another quote, “I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t remember as much as I would like to.” Also, an observation: If that was me I wouldn’t be reading from a script. it would be coming from the heart. But she has her doctorate in psychology so she knows exactly how to play the role. And if she feels it’s her civic duty to come forward now, she would have told it before today, like when Kavanaugh went to law school.

Not all women are believing her. Take this woman’s statement: “As an actual victim I find her disgusting. How dare she use sexual assault for political reasons.

The difference between the #metoo movement and the #WhyIDidntReport hashtag is simple. Anybody can say anything on social media does that make it true and does it make it a fact? No it doesn’t. just because I can write on social media that I was abused 20 years ago doesn’t make it true! Everybody is becoming so naïve and believing everything that people are writing, when there’s no facts behind what people are saying, they’re just words they’re not actions that go along with it.

I can come up with my own. I was 15 and this guys that worked with one of my parents he took me in a closet and he actually assaulted me and he told me that if I said anything he was going to kill my family that’s why I didn’t report it. So would you believe that if I tweeted that? Would you believe that if I post that on Facebook? It’s just words it sounds horrible but does that make it true!

So are all women supposed to “stick together?” Not necessarily. Women are like any other people. They are not always angels. There are many women who will compete with you and not play according to the rules. This is not a perfect world. Behind every successful woman is another woman jealous of her success. As a female I hate how women are just being thrown into the conversation to show, “oh look, we’re progressing!” No, we’re not. It’s an insult to women to just throw them a bone and say, “Oh, we’re progressing, we believe in women and we believe women can have high powering jobs!”

Sure, I know women are smart and I know women can do a great job at being anything they want to be. But let the women earn it.

If that is the one lesson that we all can learn from #MeToo, then I hope most learn it. Remember, respect is earned, not a given.  You need to respect yourself first and foremost if you ever want someone else to reciprocate that respect.  I hope in 2019, the media makes a woman famous for expanding her mind, not her breasts, nor coming out 40 years later to tear down someone just for politics sake.

Double Standards In Dating

Double Standards.

When it comes to dating there are tons of them. I will cut through the proverbial crap, and just get down to the nitty gritty. Here are four double standards that are not so obvious:

1- When a relationship breaks up men are seen as jerks, women are seen as victims.

2- Men will cheat, women have control.

3- When a man asks a question, he is concerned about his woman. If a woman does, she’s considering to be nagging.

4- Women are always seen as victims when it comes to domestic disputes and men are always seen as the attackers.

The one double standard that is the obvious one is that older men can date younger women with no problem, whereas, older women who date younger men are seen as “rocking the cradle,” and are also called “Cougars.”

I did a study on Twitter recently and 84% of people surveyed said that a woman should be able to date a younger man. And a woman should be able to do so without having judgement passed.  We need to stop this double standard stuff when it comes to dating and just remember one thing: Dating is supposed to be fun, its supposed to lead people together so they can form relationships. And if that means a girl dates a younger guy, so be it. Who are we to judge women and their relationships?

Older women look more appealing to younger guys for a variety of reasons. There is the fact that older women will not play love games and know exactly what they want. Some of them may not want the family, and all that goes with the picket fence, but as a woman’s biological clock ticks even louder, that idea may change. Younger men often find older women more interesting, experimental, fun to talk to, financially settled, and more adept sexually. As one guy in his twenties told me, “I guess it could be nice to not hang around a ditz with no knowledge of life, music, or something like that.”

Age doesn’t always determine maturity. There are men in their twenties that can give any man in their forties a run for his money. Maturity has nothing to do with age but it is the actions & behaviors that you display during adverse situations that do.

A twenty-eight year old guy told me flat out what attracts him to older women: “The experiences in life they’ve had make them more grounded and realistic. I have a preference for women starting at about ten years older than myself and up. It’s adventurous for both of us, because it is a wild and new exciting journey. Younger women just don’t let me grow in the ways older women do.” He added, “You have 30, 40, and 50 year old women today who look like they are 25, and you can’t even tell the difference!”

So what does a woman have to do in order to date a younger man? Are the rules different? And what are advantages for a young guy to date an older woman?

In order to date a younger man, a woman must first attract a younger man into her life. How does that happen? The answer is simple. Be open to the possibility. You don’t have to change how you dress. You don’t have to scout the college bars. Just live your life, and watch what happens. Trust me on this one.

The younger person gets an experienced partner who is often better established in the world. The “senior partner” may also have more money, perhaps, even, a more interesting life. The older person, for her part, gets a higher-energy partner who is likely to help the couple stay fit, quite likely, more sexually active.

Younger men come from a different generation. Therefore, they perceive the world differently than their older counterparts. They grew up with working moms. They respect and admire powerful women. Whereas older men have been taught to see women as accessories to their lives, younger guys see women as equals. (Not all younger guys, but 95% of them) Since younger men accept female empowerment as the norm, that principle transfers into equal partnership. Chances are he’ll be more adventurous than you’re used to. He may challenge your ideals. He’s apt to push you to open your thinking to a new perspective.

What attracts a younger man to an older women, is the lack of games. So, if your default is to pullout the known “this-always-works trick,” forget it. He lacks the polish his older counterparts possess in countering your moves. You’ll be forced to be real. Honesty is the best communication policy here. And, that’s a very good thing. Who really has time to play games anyway? This is the part where older guys can learn a thing or two from the younger guys. No woman wants to play games and no woman has time to play games.

A older woman will also force him to grow up and act more mature. As the older woman you will open the door to a new vision of life for him. You will have experienced things that he may not have yet had the chance to or you may have great advice to offer him for decisions he will have to make. But be prepared because he may have a completely different world view. You will be forced to see things differently, and learn new things. But I find that is more positive than negative. By the way, we always hear that older men are better in bed. Personally, I think it’s just a rumor… started by older men. They may have been with more partners, but being with more partners doesn’t mean that you are “better” than your young counterparts. And younger guys may be more willing to try new things than to just go through the motions as older guys tend to do. 

 

2020 On Social Media Is Going To Be Brutal

 

If you haven’t guessed where I am going with this yet, then maybe you really are hiding under a rock. I am talking about the dreaded Presidential Election in 2020.   If talking and reading about politics hasn’t killed you yet, don’t worry, it will in a year and a half.

You will have nut jobs from both sides of the isle arguing back and forth and forth and back on why we should vote for ……. and not for ………

So this is my plea to all those crazies who JUST love to talk politics: For the love of everything that is holy, please, don’t make social media even worse than it is now!

Social media was developed for 3 reasons: 1) To keep in touch with family and friends. (Yes, I want to see those pictures of kids I once taught, kids that I know and cute cat videos!)  2) To network. This is the most important thing for any business man or woman to do if they want to succeed in their business. Entrepreneurship is all about connecting with not only customers or clients, it’s about people in the same industry as you are. It’s also reaching out to those who aren’t to see if they can support you in any way possible.  And finally, 3) To build up the community.  This is what we really should be doing instead of tearing each other down and building up hate.  There is more hate and negativity on social media than I have ever seen the eleven years I have been a social media guru.  Literally, people will argue over the dumbest things!

vote 4

Are we really becoming that cynical?  We should be banning together, like everyone did after 9/11. Remember that moment? Remember how we all hung the American Flag from our homes and cars, everyone held open doors, was polite, compassionate, and showed what the American Spirit TRULY was- One of the worst days in U.S. history brought out the best in  ALL of us.  And for those who weren’t born then, read this:  http://bit.ly/2wuliw4 

We need to go back to HOW we were back then. We need to STOP bashing each other on social media. Instead we need to use social media for the greater good.  Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion whether or not you agree with that opinion, ( remember that while you are trolling Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, okay?)

vote 3

How about we all cool off and go back to posting pictures of food, rainbows, unicorns, and cats? You know, the way Facebook use to be BEFORE people decided to use it as a platform to bicker with each other who don’t agree with their point of view. If you want to have a political conversation, why don’t you do it the old fashioned way: in person?  This way there are no “misunderstandings,” while I read your post on why I need to vote for_________. Oh, you weren’t being serious, only sarcastic?  Oh, you meant that as a joke? Oh, you were trying to tell me how important this issue means to you but at the same time you keep posting pictures in the opposition? People can’t read emotions on social media.

It’s one thing for people to talk about freedom of speech, but it’s another to to be a hypocrite in the same sentence.  Freedom of speech doesn’t work when someone ONLY agrees with you. It works even when someone doesn’t agree with you. Remember that, okay?

You’re not going to change someone’s beliefs on social media. You can argue until the cows come home or pigs fly, but you’re just wasting your time. People are different and believe different things. Accept it and move on. Life’s too short.

Let your vote be your voice.

 

The top 5 online dating safety tips for women

The dating scene these days just isn’t what it’s cracked up to be!  People today have for some reason, given up on meeting people in person, which is the best bet for a long, lasting relationship, and have head to online dating sites and apps instead. Now, when it was first created, online dating was a fun new avenue for a woman on the prowl.  But, now it’s a dangerous place filled with cheaters, scammers, criminals, and guys that just want to hook up.  It’s not easy to find a lasting relationship when you are searching through thousands of profiles.  Even though you are sitting at home in your PJ’s hiding behind a keyboard, you need to still be careful of whom and who you eventually decide to meet. Here are some straightforward tips to do just that!

1. Only arrange a meeting with someone you have been getting to know for a while now. If you feel that you are at the point where you want to meet someone, always meet them in a public place, away from your home and be sure to tell someone where you are going.
2. Do not tell him where you live. Never give out your address, until you feel safe to do so. This should be after a few dates. Once they know where you live, there is no going back.
3. Do not accept a ride on the first date. Use your own method of transportation. Even if they seem like a great guy, you should not get in a car with them. Especially if you are alone with them and not out on a group date.
4.  Do not go to any secluded areas. Even if you want to be alone, remember that you are on a date with someone you have no idea about. Yeah he tells you what he does for a living and blah.. blah… blah.. , but how do you really know? Give yourself a chance to really get to know  him out before you take his word for everything and before he takes you to his parents house on the beach.
5. Pay attention to your gut feeling. You don’t want to be kicking yourself later on if you didn’t listen to it when it told you that this guy was no good, and now you are stuck in a big complete mess.  This is hard to do because people tend to fall in love with a profile, not a person online and your intuition may be foggy because of it.

the bottom line for being safe on any online dating site or app is this:

Let someone know you’re going out with someone new, tell them where you’re going, and set a time for them to check in on you and make sure you’re okay.  You should never feel bad for putting your safety first, even if it means you have to do something that feels rude.

Traditional Dating vs Online Dating

Traditional dating is quite simple; it is going out to a social event, (Bar, community gathering, library, coffee shop, sporting event, etc,) and meeting people. While you are out, your eye catches someone who tickles your fancy and you make your way over there to start a conversation. While conversing, you decide to give this person your phone number. You both start talking and then one day decide to go out on a date. That is what traditional dating is all about. Make no mistake, meeting people offline is better than meeting them online. Today, people have given up on traditional dating. It’s work. It’s effort. People want that quick relationship and that quick date. And if they get into a situation, they just are a click away from replacing them instead of working things out.

The first thing you see online is someone’s profile picture and dating profile. Not only can they post fake pictures, there have been people who post pictures of what they looked like five years ago! They also can tell you they love life when in fact they complain about just about everything. When you meet someone in person, they can’t pretend they don’t really look like that. There’s no fake picture or who they truly are. You can’t read body language through the computer.

Any site that “claims” to be able to match you to your perfect mate if you fill out all 60 questions, is a hoax. There is NO scientific evidence that backs up these algorithms. If they claim that their scientific algorithms work, why do you need to spend 9 -12 months to find someone with whom you should totally click with right away?

When it comes to love it seems we are at the mercy of our biochemistry. First there is a lust, then an attraction, then love. If we get down to the science, attraction happens in the first 30 seconds. You can’t do that online. Dating online is totally different. Two Words: Choice Overload. Not only are there way too many people on these sites, but you would have to have gone out on 100 dates before you actually have chosen your “perfect match.” Now seriously who has time to not only read through all those profiles, but who has actually gone out with 100 people they have met online?

When you go on a search for love, you are looking to settle. But when you let love find you and unexpectedly, you find the person who is meant for you. Online dating is good for one thing, banging and the quick fix while going out and meeting people the traditional way is for those who want the real thing and refuse to settle. You have to show people you are emotionally available to connect and online you can’t feel or see that connection at all. Not only do you connect emotionally faster in person, but pheromones are known to be involved in sexual attraction and during the most fertile time in her menstrual cycle, a woman gives off a different scent which may make her more attractive to potential male suitors. How can you do that online?

We use Yelp to check which restaurant to go to. Pick movies using another app. We are so anxious to control the outcomes that we are unable to take any real risks. We don’t see Andrew or Andrea as people on dating sites, we see Andrew or Andrea, the 70% perfect match. We don’t see them as people, we see them as objects.

A 2015 study found that positive personality traits actually increase perceived facial attractiveness. So if you are just basing your choice on looks, you maybe choosing in correctly. When you find someone to date traditionally, you already can see or get a glimpse of that person’s personality while online you are only going by what they are telling you.

When you meet people traditionally, you typically see them in a social context, such as how they interact with workmates, friends and family members. Online is made of words and images.

Researchers estimate that 25% of rapists found people to assault through online dating services and being scammed in person is less likely than online. Online dating is great if you want a casual fling, but not for anything longer lasting because there are so many dishonest people seeking cheap thrills. If a situation arises, you can split fast and a click here or there, you have your next fling. Marriage is down 50% because everyone is falling for the, “Your perfect match can be found on this website,” crap.

Traditional dating allows you to learn about your partner slowly over time, preserving an element of mystery and making future discoveries more meaningful. You don’t have to physically meet the individual until you are completely comfortable and secure in your interactions, which can go on for months or even years. All that time you “try” and get to know someone online, you could be actually physically getting to know someone you met in person.

One downside to Internet dating has to do with one of its defining characteristics: the profile. In the real world, it takes days or even weeks for the mating dance to unfold, as people learn each others likes and dislikes and stumble through the awkward but often rewarding process of finding common ground.
Online, that process is telescoped and front-loaded, packaged into a neat little digital profile, usually with an equally artificial video attached.
This means that people may unknowingly skip over potential mates for the wrong reasons. The person you see on paper doesn’t translate neatly to a real, live human being, and there’s no predicting or accounting for the chemistry you might feel with a person whose online profile was the opposite of what you thought you wanted. Offline, that kind of attraction would spark organically.  Also, traditional dating has something so important that online dating doesn’t: The use of one’s intuition.

When you meet a creep or a jerk, your intuition goes off and let’s you know- there’s body language that you are reading and your intuition let’s you know. Whereas online, while we are talking to someone using these sites, we create this image of who we believe these people are like, creating a false pretense and not being able to “weed out” the creeps, jerks, and losers we would have not even given the time of day in person.   So, when you finally meet the online person in person, you false image you created deludes your intuition from working at all- meaning we trust these people when we really shouldn’t.

 

20 Of The Worst Pick-Up Lines Of All Time

Pickup lines are hard: At worst, they can be mortifying, offensive and creepy; at best, pity-inducing. Yet men still persist in using them for whatever reason. Unless you really know what you’re doing, don’t try to use any of these corny and really stupid, pickup lines.

20That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.

This line is most used when a guy is looking for a booty call.

19- Save water. Shower with me.

Again, another line guys use for a booty call.

18- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

This line was actually used in a cell phone commercial which makes it even worse when guys actually use it on the ladies.

17- Are your legs tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

Legs. The third body part that guys talk about and focus on when they see a lady that interests them pass by. But if we are going to talk about the pick-up line, this just again focuses on trying to get the booty call without thinking that is how you sound when you use this.

16- I’m trying to rearrange the alphabet so that U and I are together.

This has to be one of the corniest pick-up lines ever!

15- Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle.

This line may even make a woman smile, but a smart woman knows what the guy is trying to achieve when this comes out of his mouth.

14- Hey, I lost my phone number … Can I have yours?

This line just shows that guys don’t even hear how dumb they sound when they open their mouths.

13- I lost my teddy bear, can I cuddle with you?

This is a warning that you are near a creepy stalker. Don’t look at him or answer him, just get up and run… and keep running!

12- Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist right?

Ugh. Another lame line guys used to get any action they can! Seriously the next guy I hear use this needs to get slapped… across the head. You can say that you saw a mosquito.

11- Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Can a guy who uses this line be any more obnoxious? I would sarcastically answer, well, my other two wishes are that you go away.

10- Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

I don’t know why a guy thinks this is a cute and innocent way of flirting with a girl, because it is not. It’s far from being cute and it’s far from being innocent. When a girl says that she is magically delicious, she’s being cute and flirty. But when a guy says it, he just wants to score.

9- So do you believe in love at first sight, or do you want me to walk by again?

Most women still want to believe in love at first sight, but most women aren’t that stupid to believe in a corny line like this.

8- I just noticed you looking at me across the room. I’ll give you a minute to catch your breath!

48% of men actually rely on pickup lines regularly. And this is one of the worst lines that come out of their mouths!

7- I’m gonna have to put you on my “To Do” List!

There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. And the majority of women cite being overly cocky as their number one turnoff. Use this line and watch her walk away.

6- If I said you have a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?

It’s 1 A.M., you are at a bar and a drunk guy walks up to you. Chances are that he will spew an insulting line like this one.

5- I was trying to have a guys’ night out and you just totally ruined it by being so cute.

For men, there’s a fear of rejection or looking stupid. Well, if they use this line they have achieved both!

4- Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

This line only works for women. And a recent survey suggests that 95% of guys claim that they like a woman to make the first move.

3- What do you like for breakfast?

Guys think this is cute. I think it’s a booty call. Period.

2 –So, how many kids do you want?

I understand that guys are trying to be creative, instead of flat out just trying to have a normal conversation, but to come out with this line indicates that that guy doesn’t even care about who the woman is, but rather more focused on what she looks like.

1- You don’t need a bodyguard. You need a bootyguard.
The Number rule of trying to get a woman’s phone number: Don’t reference a woman’s booty the first time meeting her especially using a “joke” like this. You may think it’s funny, creative, and complementary. But she may think otherwise.

You don’t have to be a wiseguy to make yourself instantly irresistible. Instead confidence gets the girl. Just be yourself and start a conversation. The first two minutes of any conversation is the indication that you might have something or you’re wasting your time. Once you get her taking, don’t hand a girl your business card. You don’t want an interview, you want a date. And if you use Facebook as a verb, you’ve already lost. If she does give you her phone number, do the unthinkable and call. Don’t text, call. Then you have struck gold.