Create Your Own Fireworks July 4th

It’s really not rocket science to turn a woman on and let her know that you are interested in her. Men for some reason think that it’s so hard to “read” us, when really, it’s not. We give you guys cues, whether or not you pick up on them is all on you!

So if you plan on going to any July Fourth picnics or events and you see a woman you know and want to approach her, or you see a woman you don’t know and want to approach her; here are all cues laid out for you in black and white.

First and foremost, texting and calling us back is a turn on.  Also responding to our social media messages is a turn on as well.

But what you guys don’t realize is that when you stop texting us we know that you are already emotionally hooked, so there’s no reason NOT to text back, you know, unless you want to be seen as a jerk, then sure, stop texting and calling us! It’s only your reputation you’re hurting, not ours. So if you text a woman you know already and want to be more than just friends, keep at it. Also, if you meet a woman on social media and want to keep getting to know her; respond to every message she sends you!

You are out with your buddies and see a woman you would like to approach. Here’s a cue: When you are staring at a woman or you just finished saying hi to her, and she starts to bite her lip, she is turned on by you and she is debating what move to make next.

Here are other cues that you have peaked a woman’s interest in her:

1) When a woman starts “fixing” her bra, you sir, have turned her on.

2) Sometimes, yes sometimes, us women can be brought speechless. This usually happens when we really, really, like a guy. And when we’re in the mist of flirting, sometimes it seems as if we are not interested when we really are freaking out and trying to quickly think of something witty and sexy to say. So the next time there is dead silence, it’s just a woman trying to figure out what to say next.

3) If she sits diagonally from you or across from you at the room, her torso is facing you in an open manner, or her shoulders and hips are facing you. Either of these signs may mean she likes you. When she is sitting and she has her legs crossed, watch her feet, if its pointed towards you, it might mean that she likes you and wants to get closer to you.

4) Whenever a woman plays with her jewelry when you are around, (necklace, rings, bracelet) she is nervously turned on by you and wants you to come over to her. Whenever she fidgets while staring at you, she is hoping that will get your attention.

5) We know that you guys spy on us on social media, so we are always one step ahead of you by posting pictures of ourselves either alone or with friends when we look amazing. We know how to play the game, and getting you jealous or curious about us, is how we do it. Also, getting compliments makes us feel good about ourselves. So , hint, hint.

Now, those cues are for mostly women you meet when you are out and about. The following are cues for women that you already know and are “friends” with her.

1) When you kiss our foreheads, hands, cheek, in a loving way, we know that you are trying to hide how you truly feel for us. But when you plant one on the lips, and it’s a soft kiss, that just takes our breath away.

2) Even if you hold my hand for 5 seconds, and I am attracted to you, I’m yours. Touch my arms, leg, be flirty while we talk and you got me!

3) Sometimes you guys are so stupid! If you see me hanging out in the same place as you, don’t wait for me to come over and say hi, make a move and say hello. If you see me wearing something that you really like, say it! Notice me and throw a compliment my way, you’ll score big points.

4) In general, a lot of guys make the mistake of bailing on the conversation too early.  BUT, when a woman is making an effort to talk to you and try to keep the conversation going, she’s interested: BIG time.

Theses are the things you can do to fuel that spark and then keep the fireworks from burning out. Keeping the fireworks alive past July 4th, is not that hard, really.  A date doesn’t mean you have to go out and get dolled up every single time; it can be something as simple as taking a walk around your town, ordering pizza in and watching a movie, lighting candles instead of the turning on the lamp near the TV,  and so forth.   We don’t need you to take us to the most expensive restaurant in town. Sometimes just going out for breakfast on the weekends is a very sweet gesture and is something that totally turns us on.

Finally,  if it’s passion that you are craving for this July Fourth, you aren’t alone. Passion makes life good. It’s the essence of experiencing a fire within you! .  Passion is the energy that keeps us going, that keeps us filled with love, excitement, and anticipation.  If you want to feel more passion in your life, then you have to become passionate. Passionate people tend to attract other passionate people. There are fireworks all within us, we just need to take the time to let them out, and this summer is a great time to do that.  If you’re with the right person and the passion goes from a flaming fire to a slow, burning love, it can last a lifetime.

 

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Every Summer Has A Story

Its that time of year again when I am reminded that, “”In every girl’s life, there’s a boy she’ll never forget & a summer when it all began.” Love may start in Spring, but it evolves in Summer.

For me, I can remember way back when to the first summer love I had, in fifth grade. His name was Michael. He was the new boy in class and at first I did not like him at all. (Love/Hate relationships are always intense) He would drive me absolutely crazy by constantly shaking his pen when it ran out of ink. (Like shaking your pen is going to help!) So I came up with an idea to write him a note and tell him just how annoying he truly was. The only problem was that his older cousin was in eighth grade and when she found out that I wrote him a note and told him that if he didn’t stop it, I was going to then throw my pen at him, she kindly told me to cut it out.

And that is when the romance began.

We got to know each other so much so that he even sang to me at lunch one of those inappropriate George Michael songs. Once June came around and school was out, that is when our romance really took off. He would call me and we would hang out, but sadly like every fling, things ended the following year. Okay, so that is not necessarily a summer romance, and yeah, I was eleven, but its got to start somewhere for everyone.

Years later, when I was a junior going to be a senior in high school, that is when another “Mike” came into the picture. He was one year older than me and would visit his best friend who lived near me. That is when I came up with a dance group with all the girls that lived in my neighborhood and they danced my choreography that I created to all the hot songs of the 90’s. He would sit in his car and watch. When I would walk by his car he would stare and smile at me, and I literally felt like I was going to melt!

This particular story brings up even more memories that I won’t get into now, but trust me, some of those memories I am fond of while others are heartbreaking.

So what is the deal with summer, romance, flings, and love?

The summer time is when love seems to rear its head and capture our imagination. During the summer, we feel free, we feel the promise of being able to forget what has happened so far and the promise of starting over. Its a time when also, people want to show off all the winter weight they have lost, so people are actually more attractive in the summer then any other season.

The other reason why the summer time brings out the beast called love is because we get to meet people we never have seen before. Do you all remember the movie, “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” and ho she met her fling, turned romance while on vacation? (Yes, its just a movie, but it does really happen!) We are more open to being impulsive, the sunshine is also brighter, we are happier, and the chance of turning a hot day into a steamy night is greater.

Ever hear the saying, “Live it up?” During the summer, that is mostly everyone’s motto.

So how can you have a summer fling turned romance?

A- Get a Summer Job – Work at a camp, beach, pool, etc. You will get to see these people everyday so it will be easier to get to know them and have them get to know you.

B- Become a visitor of a beach or pool – You don’t necessarily need to be a worker instead you can be a visitor and get to go on the prowl in your bikini or suit. Strut your stuff!

C- Volunteer – Find a place that fits your personality and you’ll surround yourself with similar people. What a better way to not only help others but also surround yourself with like-minded people.

D- Hang out with friends- Summer time is usually the time when you get introduced to friends of friends, people who you normally don’t see on an everyday basis. What could be better than shooting the breeze with someone your friends know? This is so much better than exposing yourself on those dating sites.

E- Go on vacation- Go somewhere you never have been before or even if you go to a place you love, you will be surrounded by new people and have a chance to have conversation and make googly faces at strangers. Or you will get lucky and see familiar faces from previous summers and maybe a spark will lit underneath them and a romance will begin.

If you really want the summer fling to last and turn it into the romance of your year or ultimately the one you end up with forever, the two things you need to remember are:

You need to express how you feel. There seems to be some unwritten rule that says summer flings have an expiration date and that we just assume the romance needs to be over with. But if you don’t ask or tell the person how you feel, you may actually be letting go of the person you were meant to be with forever!

The second thing you need to do is include him/her into your everyday after-summer- is -over life. He/She needs to see you, talk to you,when the beach days are over with and the colder weather starts to creep on in. But lets not dwell on this yet, for the summer is only starting and the promise of fairytale romance is in the air!

Two cheers to the summer and the potential of remembering a summer that began with a look, a smile, and a kiss.

Exciting News

I am one of the founders of Vocal+ – and will be writing a weekly blog there as well as still here! My first piece is the following: Here are 5 Reasons WHY you are  Still Single 
You can click on still single and you will be taken directly to the article.  I will be giving some exclusives on my follow up to my best-selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd ed” on Vocal+
I also will be writing about the book here- and I will be holding a contest for the naming the title of the book here!
Stay Tuned!
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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

“They say breaking up is hard to do,” sings Neil Sedaka, and I can tell you, he’s certainly correct on that! Breaking up any relationship is hard to do, especially when you have been with a person for so many years. But what happens if you are no longer happy? Should you just stay with that person because you are comfortable and afraid of being alone or should you just continue to be miserable and pass up any chance to be happy?

Its one thing to be in a relationship that is fulfilling it’s another to be in the relationship, “just because.” If after so many years you realize that you no longer have the same feelings for this person as you did when you met, you no longer are attracted to this person, or for other circumstances like cheating, lying and abuse, you need to leave this relationship. It’s one thing to love another person, but being in love with another person is an entire different ballgame. I know couples that broke up simply because they were not in love with each other anymore and they wanted to be happy with someone else.

That is where the attraction to someone else goes hand in hand. When you fall in love with someone you feel the chemistry between each other, where as, when you just love someone there really isn’t too much chemistry that attracts you to want to be with the person. You may indeed love him or her, but you don’t feel compelled to want to spend every waking moment with this person.

I have heard stories of people breaking up because they feel as if the other party just doesn’t understand them or is in the relationship because it “benefits” the other person. My question is simply this: Why would you want to be with a person who just doesn’t understand you, doesn’t want anything to really do with you, and is only with you because it benefits them one way or another? Its true that we get very comfortable in relationships that last years, even months. Sometimes we get way too comfortable which then makes it even harder to do what we know in our heart we need to do, but we can’t bring ourselves to do it. Then there are the relationships where one party lies, cheats, or worse off abuses the other person either physically, emotionally, or mentally. Anyone who abuses another person is simply a bully- period. They have such lack of respect for human life but they also have very low self-esteem. That is one of the reason they are abusive.

Just like bullies on the playground, people with a lack of self-esteem often terrorize someone who has self-esteem. Jealousy is often one of the other reasons why the bully picks on a person. The bully gets self-esteem through terrorizing his/her victim. They make this person somehow eventually believe that they are worthless, incompetent, and rejected. Not only is it a power trip for the bully but they are also gaining negative self-esteem by taking away your positive self-esteem. And to most people, this is the hardest relationship to get out of. People often argue that the victim “enjoys” being abused, but that is far from the truth. The truth is they feel they have nowhere to turn and also feel embarrassed as to what has been going on. They feel as if they will be judged, as if they caused their partner to be abusive. This can’t be further from the truth. Sometimes they don’t want to believe that the person whom they have loved would want to hurt them. They feel as if other people are jealous of their relationship. But once they can see through all the fog, they realize they deserve better, that they are worthy of love and respect they made a play to leave the relationship. Its also important to know that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness but it actually shows that you have courage to stand up for yourself.

In conclusion, for the most part, we don’t enjoy hurting someone’s feelings. And telling someone that we no longer love him or her the same way when we first met is not easy. But when we feel in our heart that we no longer love this person, it’s not fair to ourselves, and its not fair to the other person. No one wants to live a lie. But no one wants to be forced into a relationship either. Breaking up isn’t meant to be easy, but all the tough decisions we make in life aren’t easy, but in the end if we find ourselves happy, making the tough choices in the end are worth it.

10 Facts Every Woman Should Know

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over. Your body is NEVER going to look perfect. Ever.
2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. Stop thinking that people are just saying it, no they mean it.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill anything that is breathing.  Bad breath happens to everyone.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them. There are so many women who wish they were moms, remember that.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would. Your can accomplish anything you set your mind too!
6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself. Men are not heroes, be your OWN hero and save yourself!
7. Life happens outside your comfort zone.  If you never take any risks, you never grow. Life is about growing and learning. Don’t be afraid to live the life YOU want.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan. Ever.
10. You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable. 💕

 

With My Birthday Approaching, Here are 3 Things I Have Learned This Past Year

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Welcome to April, or as I like to call it; the best month ever! Okay, so I am bias to this because my birthday is in this month and it is about 4 days from today. Yippee!

And with my birthday approaching, I started to think about this past year; where I was and where I am heading. If you never read any of my books, then you don’t know that I have had experiences in my life that have been life-changing. Some experiences broke my heart while others just made me stronger and wiser. That’s the thing though, about life- every opportunity, every experience either makes you or breaks you if you let it. And in this past year of my life I have learned some major lessons that I would like to pass on and share with you.

1- There is almost always more than one way to accomplish something. There are always those folks that go for the traditional way, but there are usually multiple alternatives. The alternatives aren’t always better, but some folks don’t even want to know that they exist. You don’t have to do it the way everyone else does. That’s where out of the box thinking comes into play. Some people may be threatened by doing things a different way, but your life shouldn’t be determined by what other people think.

2- Make peace with money. Money doesn’t change people, it unmasks them. There are folks that only care about getting their share of it at whatever the cost. They don’t care about people, they only care about money. I’ve always said that money is evil because it makes people do things that they shouldn’t do just for a piece of it. By all means, make your money, but create your own definition of success when it comes to money. Don’t let it rule your life!

3- Love the process. Everything in life is a process. Everything that you do should largely be about the process, not the outcome. Memories are made because we see every moment of life as a gift. Not everything is going to happen for you overnight. Clients of mine sometimes drive me crazy with this one because they think social media is going to get them success overnight and it NEVER does! Same can be said for relationships. People rush the process of getting to know someone. They focus on that “happy ever after” instead of the “once upon a time.” Every friendship, every romance, every business relationship is a process. When getting started, just get started. Enjoy the process.

Life isn’t perfect and sometimes things will happen that are horrible, but if you remember that everything happens for a reason, it’ll give you a sense of hope. And there’s always hope. To be hopeful is to look on the future positively, to see opportunity in challenges. It’s looking at life as the glass half full rather than the glass half empty. Life is hard and will kick you in the butt if you let it. But hope gives you the strength to keep going. Hope is that voice inside that says, “Yes, you can.” And when you believe that, anything truly is possible.

Red Flags To Look For Online Dating Scams

With the number of new online dating apps popping up as well as the number of folks using dating apps at an all-time high, here are red flags to look out for to determine if your prince or princess charming is for real and not a scammer.

1) Profile is not complete. Scammers often are not specific in what they are looking for in a mate.  And they don’t answer questions when asked either.

2) They said, “I Love You”  and haven’t met you in person yet.  Some people can sound great on the phone, but when you meet them there is nothing there; or, physically they just don’t meet your standards. How can someone honestly love you before having met you in person?

3) They said, ” I Love You,” on your first date.  Again, you just freaking met in person, and they say they believe in love at first sight, and that you two are soulmates and they feel it, blah, blah, blah….  Love, true love takes time to build.

4) Playing Games.   He doesn’t want to give you his phone number, he only wants to communicate via email, or Facebook Messenger, or through the App. (Remember, there are a number of services where you can get a phone number with almost any prefix.)

5) He or She won’t FaceTime –  Now with the option of facetiming you can tell right off the bat if a guy or girl is trying to scam you simply by them refusing to FaceTime.  They always have an excuse as to why they can’t do this.

6) Fake Photos: On Dating Apps, it’s almost a sure bet that there are tons of Fake Photos! Do a Google Image search to see if his photo shows up on stock photo sites or catalogs.

7) Money! Money! Money!  1) The first questions that are asked are, “So, how much money do you make?” and 2) They ask you to borrow money and give you some story as to why they are desperate for the funds.

These are just a few signs that the person you met is either trying to scam you out of money or the guy/girl could be married and is cheating on their partner.

You can avoid all heartache if you know what to look for and also how to ask questions right from the first message you receive. Don’t give too much personal information away either! They don’t need your phone number, address, work address, social media pages, etc. Start slow and really get to know someone first.  Set up a meeting in a public place. If they fail to show up – next!

You can get tons of tips here: Click This

What Entrepreneurs Do Wrong On Social Media

Here are some social media tips for starting out, because let’s face it, most young entrepreneurs think they got the social media marketing “down pat,” but in all seriousness, they aren’t even close.

1. Start small You’ll want to start small and try 1 or 2 platforms. Often times folks sign up for every social network under the sun and try to grow each of them. Guess how long they last? Building profiles for multiple social sites is hard work, so it’s best to start by only tackling two at first. Once you find the right ones for you or your brand, then start to narrow your focus on those. Eventually you may want to scale your social media strategy to include more services, but you have to crawl before you can walk. Start small, and then grow to other social networks as your confidence grows. Success breeds success.

 

2. Don’t fret about follower counts! Don’t believe all the folks out there that sell you the notion that you can attract thousands of followers in a matter of days. Sure, you could do that and it’s not hard. But the types of followers who are going to be following you are mostly bots. Or they’re just following you in hopes that you’ll follow them back. Ultimately, they aren’t followers who would engage with you. You want social media followers that are going to listen and interact with you, and 10 of those followers is worth more than a thousand bots. It takes a while to organically build up a great social profile. Focus on building great content and being helpful, and the followers will come. Don’t buy followers. (If you want to read up about content marketing, you can click here)

3. Don’t annoy your followers! Sounds like common sense, right? Unfortunately, lots of companies that are just starting out with social media think the best way to “promote” their brand is to publish coupons, offers, news, and anything else related to their business. Rule of thumb: if it’s something you personally wouldn’t like to receive, avoid it. Your social media goal is to be helpful first. People follow and respect brands that are helpful, not self-promoting shills. Give first, then ask. Try posting useful links to industry articles, answer questions, and engage. The followers, engagement, and ultimately sales will come if you’re helpful first.  Great brands didn’t get that way by failing to deliver on an authentic brand promise.  It’s all about being authentic, not fake.

5 Ways To Love Yourself Everyday

Sleep, wake up, work. And repeat. That’s a daily grind that we all seem to go through daily as we dread the next time the alarm goes off. There’s more to life than work. What is one thing you can do every day to take care of yourself, to gain some important, “me time?”

Start your day off with meditation and exercise.

Sit and focus on how you breathe for at least 1 to 5 minutes or preferably 15 to 20 min. Connect with nature by taking your workouts outside (also great for getting your daily dose of Vitamin D), do some yoga, or simply stretch. Endorphins will surface and lift your spirit and immune system higher. I love going for 2 mile walks.

Read.

Pick a few articles from blogs and websites that you find inspiring and read them throughout the day. Most people don’t’ have time to simply read a book, but if you choose to read a book, make it fictional. The reason is so you can find an escape for at least 15-20 minutes a day reading something that enraptures your imagination.

Put yourself on a schedule so that you make time for play.

Use your vacation days or use a personal day. Even a single mental health day or a short trip out of town is a great mental booster! Get out of your normal routine and do something out of the ordinary. Too often we get use to our comfort zone, that we fall into a rut or we burn out, so use your vacation days before they roll over. Also take time to enjoy the weekends. Weekends with no play are no fun.

Have A Hobby

Letting your creative juices flow with stop you from getting caught up in the monotony of daily life. You also can find it fun and interesting to learn a new skill, or polish up on one that you already have. You could also meet new people as a result of your hobby and join a group or go to a workshop/class on it. Cooking, sewing, woodwork, painting, the ideas are endless and up to you!

Unplug from technology.

What is the first thing people tend to do when they first wake up? They grab their phones, tablets, or laptops and start plugging away. Leave the electronics alone until you’ve given yourself time to get ready for the day ahead. Make time for breakfast, which usually gets ignored or forgotten about and save the email, Facebook, and other social media platforms for the end of your morning ritual.

Have a great Valentine’s Day- Remember to LOVE yourself FIRST.  If you don’t, you can’t expect anyone else too.

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